Villainous Rationale: Introduction

 My favorite villain is not my favorite type of villain.

The villain who stays with me, even through the many interpretations outside of the comics by several actors, and who without a doubt is my favorite: Joker.
He is chaos personified. Save for the The Dark Knight film, he is insane and yet seems to know it. Which leads to an interesting question. If he knows he is crazy, then is he truly crazy, or rather a complete entity of evil? However, this is not a question to answer at this time. This is about the best type of villains.

To me, the best villains are the ones who seem to be driven by "legitimate" reasons. Their rationale for the terrible things they do can be understood by most anyone. Sometimes it is even to the point where we as an audience, or reader, may find ourselves cringing at the fact that we may, regretfully, understand the logic. That perhaps we could be swayed by the arguments into accepting the horrible things he or she has done. That is also the brilliance to some of these characters. They are truly multidimensional and they, or most, contain the skills in leadership and communication that leads others to accept those means that are being justified.
Among them is also the villain where it appears they have no true control. Circumstance, weakness, or even necessity coupled with an already delinquent personality can envelope someone where there is no escape from evil.

Let me be clear, I'm not referring to the anti-hero. An anti-hero is a central character that does less than heroic things. He would just as soon kill you as look at you if it was in his best interests, or an easy solution.


Over the next few weeks I will be doing a four part series where we will examine three specific Villains, and one grouped category.

These will be

Villainous Rationale:

The Addiction Of Gollum
The Abuse Of John Doe
The Genocide Of Magneto
The Nature Of The Beast

I hope you will join me in the examination of these characters and find it interesting.
Finally, who is your favorite villain, and more importantly, why?

Accepting It Once And For All: Things I Learned Being A Nerd

                                                                     Hi. My name is David, and I'm a nerd...

   I was a typical boy. I loved superheros, cartoons, television, movies, and books. My earliest memories of nerdom came from two shows, both of which were animated. One, Star Blazers. The other, Star Trek: The Animated Series. I would wake up far too early for any kid on Saturday mornings just to catch them.

I fell in love with science fiction due to those two shows. From that moment on, it would be a life-long journey as well as a love/hate relationship with all things "nerd."

    When I was five I made sure to watch the premier of The Incredible Hulk, starring Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno. I had already been watching such shows as Wonder Woman, The Six Million Dollar Man, and The Bionic Woman. It was around this time my family had introduced me to a long canceled yet pioneering live action version of that wonderful show called "Star Trek". 
Shortly after The Incredible Hulk, The Amazing Spider-Man premiered in all its cheesy glory. A year after that, there were two forgettable Captain America Movies. Spider-Man, web-slinging and all, did not survive for long.

The biggest thrills and influences on me were perhaps in the reruns of the '66 Batman series, the silver screen version of Superman, an animated version of The Hobbit, and a little movie that came out in '77 called "Star Wars".  What a great time for an imaginative young boy!
   In the years to follow came cinematic gems like The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Dune, The Wrath of Khan, Superman II,  , E.T., Blade Runner, Indiana Jones, Explorers, Tron, The Last Star Fighter, Enemy Mine, and many, many more.
On the small screen we had Transformers, Buck Rogers, Knight Rider, V, Battle Star Galactica, The Greatest American Hero, Mork & Mindy,  Doctor Who, Max Headroom, and about a thousand others. All of that was just during the mid 70's to the mid 80's! The following thirty years came with some brilliant movies and TV series' in the science fiction, fantasy, and superhero/comic genres.  

                                                                                I Was A Coward...

  It was one thing to talk about, indeed get excited for, those types of things as a kid. When you get older, however, it becomes more difficult to freely do as such. The fear of what our peers would think ate deep at the fragile teenage psyche for far too many of us. 
 My entire adult life I was unable to openly come out of the nerd closet. I had a phrase I would use when conversations became too nerdy; "I don't know what that is."  It was one part joke and one part a cowardly facade . Of course, towards the end of my fraudulent ways I would have a wry smile on my face when uttering those words. 
  We all knew that I was a big fat nerd. I was just incapable of freely expressing it. I'm unsure as to why that was. Maybe because of being picked on as a boy? For being left out of things because of my hanging out with the "weird" kids? Who knows? Thankfully, the denial of who I was has ended. 

                                                            I have seen the light, and I solemnly swear I'm up to no good

   Science fiction, fantasy, superhero, and comic book. I loved all of those genres with a passion when it came to movies, T.V. shows and litterateur. I veraciously absorb Tolkien as though I'm working on a PhD in Tolkienology. Begining on September 22nd, of every year, I read The Lord of the Rings. Why then? Because it's Bilbo and Frodo's birthday, that's why! I read Dune fairly often, as well as Harry Potter (which I "accidentally" read for the first time in '04.) What I never really read, however, were actual comic books. I had little interest in them and avoided these save for the very rare occasion.
   I had read a few comics over the years: Spider-Man, Dead World, Judge Dredd, The Tick, and Batman, but even combined they amounted to only a handful throughout my first forty years. It was in the other mediums earlier mentioned that I secretly filled my camel-like nerd hump. Only in the last eighteen months was it that the comic book Sarlacc pit swallowed me. Characters I had only slight knowledge of since I was a child were suddenly in the forefront of my mind, jumping off the colorful pages before me. Doctor Strange, Deathstroke, Green Arrow, Yondu, Star Lord, Ultron, Black Panther, Thanos, Rocket, Deadpool, and Harley Quinn. But, in what may have been the most enjoyable part, the ability to dig much further into that, the greatest of villains, Joker! 

I am only in my early stages of comic book hording, or midlife crisis, if you will 

  Several things have contributed to my new found love of comics. The memories of the shows I watched growing up. The excellent movies beginning with X-Men in '00. The creation of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The modern D.C. televisions shows. And the final piece to the puzzle fell when I discovered Comic Book Men.
I suppose I was always on the edge of the comic book chasm but it was a beautiful coalescing of all those things that ultimately pushed me over the edge. And not only me, but thousands of others too. This is another Golden Age that should be celebrated instead of the pissing and moaning we hear from some of the fanboys. "You only know about -insert title here-  because of a stupid movie!". What is my response to such notions? "So what?" Besides, Comics aren't for everyone and you do not own the sole rights to the materiel nor can you dictate who can or cannot enjoy the adaptations on the silver screen or the books themselves. 
Please, Just let them appreciate it however they can. Many are excitedly and actively seeking out, and have the desire, to love the same things you already do. If watching a movie or a television show is now bringing more people into this beautiful world of art and writing, let them come! 


                                                                           Have you heard? I'm a nerd! Get used it!

  I am proud to openly declare that I'm a nerd. I'm proud to openly declare that I love comic books. No person should feel ashamed of such a thing. In fact, being a nerd has taught me some important lessons and I've come across some sage advice that muggles, civilians, non-mutants, non space explorers, and non time travelers most likely will never understand.  I will leave you with a few of these. So, until next time, remember...

1: He who controls the Spice controls the universe

2: Always turn to page 394

3: Han shot first

4: Don't panic

5: Shakespeare is best when heard in its original Klingon

6: You won’t like some people when they're angry

7: When asked if you are a God, the proper response is always "YES"

8: Don't believe in the "no win scenario"
9: Do, or do not. There is no "try"

10:  Not all tears are an evil

11: With great power there must also come great responsibility

12: Be weary of old books that have been written in, or perhaps have covers made of human skin

                                      13: Even wonderful childhood memories, can on occasion, destroy large cities

14: Never say someone's name three times in a row

15: Never eat the small piles of powder all over the empty ship

16: If you can, take your chances with the pig lizard

17: Some people just want to watch the world burn

18: Try to aim for the head

19: No one tosses a dwarf, unless asked (then it must always remain a secret)

20: If you're six-foot-three and have had a beard since you were fifteen, you're probably not an elf

21: When your co-worker has a really bad stomach ache, everyone should just stand back (or get him some Pepto-Bismol)

22: Pronouncing words incorrectly can at times lead to failure, or even disaster 

23: Always follow the rules regarding your pets
24: When the time calls for it, you may set booty traps 

                             25: Drinking or eating consumables with unknown ingredients can lead to unwanted side effects 

26: Sometimes, if well prepared, one can match wits with a Sicilian even if death is on the line

27: A belt just means you don't need a rope to hold your pants up*

28: Always open the fortune cookie before you eat it

29: The cake is a lie

30: Sometimes during a worldwide crisis it is best to get to the pub

31: Jewelry found in dark places should most likely be destroyed.

32: Everyone falls the first time  

33: "Get her!" is not a great plan

34: Always know where one's towel is

35: The proper (and cool) response to "I love you" is always "I know"

36: Never interfere with your parent's first meeting

37: Not everyone is worthy of having an awesome hammer

38: An escaped penis probably goes by the name "Archie"

39: Sleepy little villages with an overly enthusiastic Neighborhood Watch talking about the "greater good" is most likely hiding something*

                                 40: If you have a suspicion that creepy redheaded pizza delivery boy is a vampire, spilling your sunflower seeds will distract and slow him down 

41: Never name a computer HAL. (However, the names K.I.T.T., or Holly, are acceptable)

42: ...is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything
43: Never have sex with the female version of yourself from another dimension.
44: A servant of the enemy would perhaps look fairer and feel fouler

                          And finally...  #45: Never blink or turn your back on statues covering their eyes. Especially if they are angels.

Weeping Angel by Victoria-Fletcher

*From honorary nerd sources

Nicknames: Cadit a gratia

    Fish, Crusty, Elwood, Dave-O, The Dark Lord, DaveStarr, Super Dave, Barry, and Turbo are just a few of the monikers that have been attached to me at some point in my life. There was even one very unpronounceable Eskimo-Aleut nickname given me by a group of tiny native ladies. All I know is it had something to do with my, well, seventeen year old posterior.

    We are branded with these names in a variety of ways. It can be a play on words or a joke gone too far. A girl’s teasing of a boy she has a crush on, or vice versa. It can stem from our actions or our profession. A common way of gaining a nickname is by where we are from or live. It can also be in the form of irony. But, on a rare occasion, it’s just to hide an embarrassing name our parents slapped on us at birth, ensuring us a difficult yet far from uninteresting childhood by bringing out every lurking bully from the shadows.  

Bartholomew "Bat" Masterson 

“Bartholomew? Well, Bat, that’s a beautiful name. There’s no reason to be ashamed of a twenty five dollar handle like that. Maybe I’ll just call you that all the time. ‘Bartholomew’. “

                                 -Wyatt Earp (Kevin Costner) upon finding out Bat Masterson’s real name  

                                                                                           

    

  However we get them, some may be for only a brief period of time while others could last a lifetime. Some people will try to give a person a nickname but it ultimately doesn’t stick. Dave “Devilfish” Ulliott told me that fellow poker player, John Shipley, really wanted a nickname. One day while they were playing in Vegas, Dave noticed that Shipley had been sitting on a magazine. Devilfish, beeing curious, asked him why and John’s reply was that the chairs made his “arse sweaty”. Naturally Dave started to call him “Sweaty Arse”. I asked if the name stuck and was sadly informed by Ulliott that "No it never stuck. But the magazine sure did!" 
      Others have tried to place a new moniker on someone where it was painfuly obvious that they were trying too hard to make it stick. I remember Mariners color announcer Ron Fairly (who many dubbed “Captain Obvious”) trying to give starting pitcher Freddy Garcia the nickname of “The Bear”. He tried relentlessly to get people to call him that. Over and over he would insist on calling him “The Bear” during the broadcasts. This went on for quite some time until one day people started calling Garcia “Chief”. Why? Because someone in the clubhouse one day decided he looked like actor and artist, Will Sampson, from One Flew Over the Cuckcoo’s Nest. I never heard Fairly say “The Bear” again. He seemed to finally give it up but I have a feeling he was a little upset by it.

Thomas Austin Preston Jr. "Amarillo Slim"

"It's a good thing he did, because Amarillo Slim sounds a heck of a lot better than Turkey Tom or Arkansas Austin.” 

                                                     - Amarillo Slim (Thomas Austin Preston, Jr)

Leroy Robert "Satchel" Paige

“My feet ain't got nothing to do with my nickname,

but when folks get it in their heads that a feller's got big feet,

soon the feet start looking big.”

                                                    - Satchel Paige

Bob "Death To Flying Things" Ferguson 

     To me, some of the best nicknames have come from the worlds of Baseball, and Poker, however, sports in general is home to many of the greats*. There you will find the likes of The Big Unit, Oil Can, The Minister Of Defense, Shoeless Joe, Amarillo Slim, The Sheriff, The Admiral, Mailman, Texas Dolly, Eskimo, The Mouth, The Magician, Jennicide, and the aforementioned Devilfish. However, my absolute favorite has to be Bob “Death to Flying Things” Ferguson (also shared with Jack Chapman)
     If you examine the world of music, and specifically from the Jazz and Blues genre, there are such classics as Muddy, Leadbelly, Bing, T-Bone (Walker), Peg Leg, Cootie, Count, Tootie, and Satchmo. I could continue until the mighty Mississippi herself dried up, but you get the idea.


When thinking of nicknames we must not ignore those from the pages (and screens) of fiction. Here lurking are those known to us as Nuke Laloosh, Tin Cup, The Swede, Wolverine, Neo, Oddjob, Worm, and of course Juggernaut, bitch!
      History too is littered with great nicknames. Be them attached to the good, the bad, or the pure evil, their names stick with us. Such names as Vlad the Impaler, Deadwood Dick, Ike, Le Petit Coporal, Mad Monk, Iron Lady, The Maid of Orleans, The Bard, Old Hickory, and Scarface will continue to be known for many generations to come. In what has to be one of the best historical nicknames belongs to Eugene Bullard, otherwise known as "The Black Swallow of Death". Eugene was one of only two black combat pilots who served in WWI (the other was Ottoman pilot Ahmet Ali Celikten.)

"The Black Swallow of Death", Eugene Bullard

                                                                    “You're not allowed to give yourself a nickname.

                                                                            This holds true in life as well as in poker.”

                                                                  
                                                                                                          - Richard Roeper

  It is true, a person shouldn't give themselves a nickname. It's bad nickname etiquette to do so but it does happen. Luis “Honey Boy ”De Valle, Austin “Subzero” Rivers, Floyd “Money” Mayweather Jr., and Kobe “Black Mamba” Bryant are examples of people giving themselves nicknames.

     Perhaps even I in a small way have been guilty of this. Whenever I would write something about poker on Facebook or Twitter, I took to signing off with the name of “Sisyphus”. I will say that I never actually claimed it to be a nickname. Weak, I know. This persona, or alter ego if you will, came from the far too often occurrence of my chip stack rising, then falling, then rising, then falling, rising…. You see the pattern? One day during our weekly home game I exclaimed that I must be the Sisyphus incarnate of the poker world, where promptly there was some agreement among my friends.
   Some names become too commonplace and overused. Many of the most common have been around for as long as we have had names and are still to this day used. Labels such as Rocky, Red, Tiny, Hoss, Wild Bill, Papi, Black Jack, Sugar, Hitman, Snake, Tex, Buster, and some form of "Kid" have all become transformed into the cookie cutter variety.

Look at all those CHILDREN! 

                                           




                                                              "No orator can top the one who can give good nicknames."
                 
                                                                                        - Ralph Waldo Emerson

We have come to a point where nicknames are beyond the cookie cutter variety in lameness. With the advent of computer machines, and the interwebs, a whole new brand of patheticism in the nicknaming ability has sunk to an all time low.
 
Online poker was a large part of my life for a while and I can tell you I have seen some of the worst handles being used by my fellow players. What is even more maddening is that when a small few of those players get to be known well enough, I am then forced to see those online handles being used in print and on T.V. (Durrrr.)
 I have known many online players with terrible online names. No, I won't go into detail. I will however, give one of my favorites: AKQJ2DAMMIT! Anyone who plays knows the frustration and can identify with this name. It makes for a great online handle, but not necessarily a good nickname. That is true for many of the names floating around the vacuum of cyberspace. You can use it online, sure, but please do not bring it into the real world.

   The other type and most common form of the watered-down cheap whiskey kind of names are  when an "ie", "ey", or "y" is simply tacked onto to the end of a person's first or last name. This seems to be the modern day practice of baseball clubhouses. Where we once had notables like The rocket, The Ryan Express, and Pee Wee, we now have Coney, Davey, Jonesy, Johnnie, Marky, and Mattie. I sometimes wonder exactly how many "Hendu"'s there have been simply due to the shared last name of Henderson? Too many, I'm sure.
     Now, I understand many of those are simply terms of endearment and not true nicknames per se, I take no particular issue when it comes to such a reason. It is when pure laziness and lack of creativity are the clear reason that I become saddened, irritated, and curious as to how the great nicknames fell from grace.

   Let us have no more A-Rod's, I-Rod's, Pudge's, or D-Wade's, No more ScarJo's, JLaw's, or B-Rad's.
I long for the Bone's, Ginga Ninja's, Puddin' Head's, and the Catfish's". Give me the The Rooster's (Red or plain),  Bleedin' Gums', or Reign Man's. Remember the Galloping Ghost's, Blood And Guts', Scourge Of God's, the Impaler's, and Red Barron"s. (True, some of those weren't exactly wonderful people but hey, their nicknames sure were!)

Out of the ashes, like the phoenix, I want to see the art form of the nickname rise to it's former glory.







* While writing this I couldn't help but wonder; how is it that Cortez Kennedy was never called "Conquistador"?

Old Man Refuses To Change With The Times!

    I prefer the tactile feel, the scent, the elegance, and the romance contained in the ancient form of a real book.

As I have long said, not once will you see, nor hear, the excitement or passion on the face or within the words of someone proudly exclaiming they have a signed first edition download of their most cherished book.

“What an astonishing thing a book is. It's a flat object made from a tree with flexible parts on which are imprinted lots of funny dark squiggles. But one glance at it and you're inside the mind of another person, maybe somebody dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, an author is speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people who never knew each other, citizens of distant epochs. Books break the shackles of time. A book is proof that humans are capable of working magic." 

                                         

                                          - Carl Sagan [Cosmos, Part 11: The Persistence of Memory (1980)]

            "If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads"                                                                                                          

                                                                                                       - Ralph Waldo Emerson 

This has nothing to do with Steve

 "Books are like mirrors: if a fool looks in, you cannot expect a genius to look out."

                                                                      -J.K. Rowling

Dead Sea Scrolls

                  "The best memory is not so firm as faded ink"

                                                                      -Chinese Proverb

The Ebers Papyrus


"A room without books is a body without a soul."

   
                                                              -Cicero

42

FORTY TWO! Or if this was counted like it is in the Beautiful Game, I’d be in my 43’ (what’s the symbol for year?)

Now, there are some who say that the number 42 is the "answer to life, the universe, and everything." I don't know about all that but then again I'm not the wisest wizard in Middle Earth. Sure, I have gained experience and a little wisdom in my life but I definitely do not have any of those answers...yet. 

What has happened or changed for me in this most recent trip around the Sun? Well, I’m chubbier, greyer (OK,OK. "More grey"), slower, more forgetful, and have the sudden need to buy a Porsche!

Other things have been happening as well. My anxiety and agoraphobia are being well managed and I’m in the early stages of gaining a life again instead of barely having a mere tiny existence.

A good example is that I had been volunteering at a comic book shop, the first “work” I had been able to do in perhaps six or seven years. I was even making friends here in Albuquerque! Unfortunately most of that changed (as things do) when the shop suddenly closed simultaneously creating a great many Nerd refugees (Nerdugees, if you will.) Several of us are now roaming the desert looking for the Promised Land, our Nerdvana. Thankfully, though, there are no comics carved from stone having to be retrieved from a mountain top, golden carbonite calves, or a dark lord chasing us across a marshy plain where we’re hoping the winds will pick up or an extreme tide will hit.

On the family front, for the first time in pretty much the forty two years I've been here, my

Dad, the Bob c1976

Father and I have began to talk fairly frequently. It’s been a couple of months but compared to the way we were it’s like we’re two cackling hens that can’t shut up.

A very young Riah

As young adults tend to do, my Daughter is struggling to find her way. She'll be fine because 1, I love her, and 2, I'm her Dad! Little 3p0 is getting big and acting the same way her mother did at that age which I must say I'm finding a guilty satisfaction in! As always her hair is reminiscent of the tangle of snakes upon Medusa'a noggin. However, I must say she is much more adorable! Oh! And the female parental unit is doing pretty well too.

3p0

 Using the Schwartz, I’m beginning to see a new phase for me. It is still blurry but perhaps the picture will become clearer soon. I won’t go into detail, however, because I still have the beast of self-doubt slowly dripping a poison in my ear. It is becoming easier to find a temporary remedy for said poison, but I’m hopeful I will find the antidote of self-confidence to keep it at bay on a much more consistant basis.

The exploration of my surroundings are increasing but there are still obstacles. A few trolls guarding the bridges to the East side are prime examples. Soon, I believe, I will be able to answer their riddles or just punch them in the nose and give myself permission to cross.

As of now I have only a few goals for the next three hundred and sixty-five rotations of Midgard:

1: To become less Jabba-like

2: Continue to find something I enjoy, and using that to earn my way through life.

3: Continue to work on my mental well-being

4: I am still a fellowship of one. Yet for the first time in what seems like many ages of man I am willing to add some companionship in the near future. I’m not exactly the most eligible or desired bachelor, but I can tell the occasional joke, pick a good movie, and order a good pizza! 

Yes, ladies, I'm single. 

Before this comes to an end I have to once again thank all my friends for the well wishes on this, anniversary of my birth. It helps immensely when I hear from you. 

(Nothing witty to sign off with)

Thank you for your time

                                       David