Maggie

I am surprised to see all the average reviews on Maggie. To me this film is quite beautiful. 

It is a vastly different take on the Zombie genre. I understand why people may have a problem with it. It is too slow for some and not exactly scary, which may detract for hardcore fans of the genre. They may also be unsatisfied with the ending. I, however, thought it was perhaps the right one and at the right time; one of only two possibilities I felt could work.

Maggie is not about gore, but about emotion.  The emotional impact on a father who is impotent to provide help to his daughter, choosing to be there as she slowly reaches her inevitable end. And it is about the emotional impact on a far too young girl who is highly aware it is only a matter of time before she is lost to this frightening disease, her humanity literally decaying away.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is superb in this role.  This is perhaps the  best he's ever been; a bona fide "actor". And Abigail Breslin is wonderful as the doomed and frightened girl trying to live out her last days, and in a few cases, to say goodbye. 

It may not be perfect for many, but I suggest you watch it if the concept intrigues you. It will sadly either become a hidden gem tucked away in cinematic history to be rediscovered too late, or a cult classic. 

"Traditional Values"

Over the last thirty six hours I have seen the phrase "traditional values" appear on my feed quite often. It has been thrown out once again owning to the Supreme Court's ruling on "gay" marriage. I have never understood this phrase as an argument.

Traditional values held that it was okay to own another human being. To take them from their homes, to keep them in chains, to split up families, to whip them.

Traditional values held that interracial couples should not marry. In fact the idea was so disgusting to some that they felt the need to teach interracial couples a lesson. Usually in the form of beatings and sometimes outright murder.

Traditional values looked at children as commodities. We would marry at the age of fourteen, then thunk out as many kids as we could in order to help on the farm, family business, or send them off to work in factories, on the streets, or perhaps the mines.

Traditional values held that women should not vote.

Traditional values held that blacks should not be citizens of the united states, or be allowed to vote.

Traditional values sometimes would lead to the firing from one's job, beatings, murder, ostracism, jailing, or numerous other from of denigrating and degrading treatment of Blacks, Homosexuals, Women, and to virtually every minority.

All of these were mostly justified by a religion we decided to interpret a certain way. We held these values as perfectly acceptable, natural, and legal.

"Bigot: a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and PREJUDICES; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance" ~ Merriam-Webster

These are all bigoted values. They have seeped through the fabric of time, and within our culture are in some cases still held. Many don't even realize that what they say, or that their actions, are bigoted. In fact hey will vehemently deny it. We have become comfortable in such ways and it is hard to change. It is difficult to admit when we have been in the wrong. So, we scratch and claw to hold onto traditional values (our prejudices), not even understanding we are doing so. We will hide behind our religions, beliefs, and politics. These beliefs and ideologies probably don't make us right, they make us assholes.

You don't have to be filled with hate to be a bigot. It is by your words and actions that will place you in that category, whether you realize it or not.

In the past several days, some of us have refused to see what a symbol has come to mean, regardless of what it originally held, it has changed. It changed a long time ago and we should accept that.

" 'The Confederate Flag is just a symbol of states’ rights.' Bullshit. And the Swastika is just a Tibetan good luck charm." ~Robin Williams

Some of us refuse to understand that an entire group of our fellow citizens have not been treated equal. We are supposed to be free in this Nation. We are supposed to be equal, and yet we have not been. We have been treating minorities and the GLBT communities as second class citizens. This is why there are such things as "Pride" events. This is why they state for the world to hear, "I'm proud!".

As white America we have never been told for generations by the majority that we were worthless, subhuman, abominations, unnatural, weak, and a million other horrible things. It is something we cannot fully understand. A few of us pretend to, but we are fooling ourselves.

I am elated that yesterday we have taken one massive step towards equality for all. It is a shame that some people seem to have a problem with such an idea.

I expect some wedding invitations in the future. Even if I cannot attend, just seeing the invitation in the mail will bring a smile to my face and will remind me of the progress we have made as a society.

Love is love, regardless of the person you want to share your life with.

Now, can we just say "marriage?"

In preparation: Research, Research, Research.

I have spent the last two months inundating myself with the Lincoln County War and specifically Billy the Kid. I've been scouring books, websites, documentaries, and movies about William H. Bonney and I still have several books to pick up."What then", you may ask? Well, I will begin re-reading every single one of them.

During my research I found and joined a wonderful Facebook group called The Lincoln County War and Billy the Kid. It has been the perfect Facebook group for me and my project, and for my general interest in this subject alone. I've had the pleasure of getting to know several people within the group. Roy Haws, Gordon Fikes, Marcelle Brothers, Nicole Maddalo Dixon, and Drew Gomber are shining examples of the people I have met on there (Online, not in person yet). They have been invaluable to me during this research phase for my book. I know they get tired of the same old questions from newbies such as myself, but thankfully they haven't taken out their frustrations on me and my ignorance...yet.

I have been doing much note taking and outlining for the book and there's some content written in the initial chapters I have. I slowly get a little done here and there but it is a long process. Unfortunately I can only go so far with the writing at this point. A part, or the major part, of this book is/will be based on a trip around New Mexico (& a dip into Arizona?), visiting all the key places where The Kid had been, and hold historical value to him. The trip and that part of the book is about how I, as a recovering agoraphobic person with a rather sizable anxiety problem, deals with this solo journey. Regardless as to how many attempts at, whether one continuous trip or several small ones, or how long, is what is important and the true story. The history of the places I travel to, and The Kid himself, are the other parts to it. They are my focus.

I am still unsure of when I will start my crowdfunding campaign. I will get to that most likely after some more researching which means it will not be for at least a few more months. Once I get a final list of the places I need to go, where I will stay, how long I'll be at each place, fuel estimates, tour/interview with possible museum costs, and a better understanding of other tangibles such as self-publishing costs (if that's the route I go) as well as some things to pick up along the way for the incentives of certain donation levels in the campaign, I'll finely be ready to jump off that cliff. This aspect scares me nearly as much as the trip itself! Why? Because without the story of the journey, there is no story. And though I love to learn, and love history, I would have done all this research and planning for nothing.

This whole project just feels right, if you understand my meaning. I finally have something that is keeping me busy, is important to me, and is giving me purpose. It is also incredible because I wouldn't have been able to even comprehend or think of such a thing for myself just a few month ago. Sure, I am frightened, and have a great deal of stress, but for once it is a positive anxiety and stress as opposed to the kinds that lead me down dark mental corridors causing me to isolate myself from the world, where I remain in constant fear for my sanity, and safety. This feels like the beginning of a version of myself that makes me happy to be in the world once again. One that hopefully brings pride to myself and my loved ones. One that will hopefully inspire others who have suffered with the same issues as I have, letting them know that there is hope for people like us.

I will admit that the reason I wrote this little blog was in part because I had hit a wall and having trouble writing anything specifically for my book. This is basically a way to step away from it, yet still be working on it in some way...if that makes any sense.

Before I go, I would like to say that if you have any interest in Billy the Kid you should check out the website About Billy the Kid. It is a great source and a perfect starting point to anyone who wants to research The Kid, be it seriously or just for general interest and curiosity.

I have to thank Nadine Grip for sending me a few books for my research, and I also have to thank Roy Haws for sending me a copy of his book Brushy Bill ... Just Another Billy the Kid Tall Tale? It is one of the few times where Betteridge's law of headlines (usually attached to article headlines) does not apply! This is book is for the people who have seen Young Guns II a few too many times, or are conspiracy nuts and believe the story of Brushy Bill and that he was actually Billy the kid, never having died by the hand of Pat Garrett in July of 1881. I am no fan of giving him (Brushy) recognition but this is a book you need to read if your sense of historical reality is skewed when it comes to this issue.

Thanks for your time

David

Preparing To Toast Marsh Melons In The Undiscovered Country: An Apologist's Remembrance Of Spock And The World Of Trek.

“I have been, and always shall be, your friend.” ~ Spock          

There are many things in life that we become irrationally attached to. There is no rhyme or reason as to the selection of the objects we feel a deep rooted connection. Be they a song, a person, a character, or our childhood comfort blanket we still secretly keep tucked away after all these years, we simply become bonded with them.

Some of these attachments are immediate. My life long crush on Alyssa Milano, or my debilitating weakness for redheads are two prime examples. Others, slowly build over time, becoming stronger and stronger over the passing years. This for me was the case of my attachment to Leonard Nimoy. Or rather should I say, for right or wrong, my attachment to Spock? It first began as a small child when my Mother and Grandfather would force me to watch the original Star Trek. Why did they torture me!. Then, a couple of years later by the time I discovered Star Trek: The Animated Series I was more than willing to get up all by my lonesome, far before the Sun on a Saturday morning to see the adventures of the crew of the Enterprise whilst munching on cinnamon sugar toast.

However, admittedly at a certain point, and for a few years, I became distracted by the phenomenon known as Star Wars. At that age Star Wars was much more exciting. In 1982, however, that all changed. 

                                                                      The Wrath Of Khan

When The Wrath of Khan came out I realized how important Spock was to me. I was already discovering a love of science at the time thanks to Carl Sagan's Cosmos: A Personal Voyage. Suddenly all those episodes of Star Trek came back to me, remembering Spock's devotion to logic, and to what I would learn later, critical thinking. I now began to understand the importance of these things. How to think things through, coming to the logical conclusion and acting accordingly. Sometimes it was to communicate with something, or someone, you do not understand before you throw the first punch, or phaser shot. Other times it was in order to keep yourself from jumping to the wrong conclusion, from allowing yourself to be fooled by exaggerated claims that in some cases could be harmful to you or others. Or perhaps it was to help you conclude that the needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few...or the one. To understand that your ultimate sacrifice will save countless others.

The death of Spock, his sacrifice, I found mesmerizing and brave. It stuck with me for a long time. I have seen such things before in film, literature, and even the daily news, but seeing Spock on the silver screen fade away while his friends look on on horror, unable to rescue him even though he is merely a few feet away? It changed me. I had seen death twice in my life before then, and this felt just as real to my ten year old self.

                                                                         The Final Frontier

The Final Frontier is one of my favorites of the Trek films. Not because of the quality, mind you. but when you use it as a study into the friendship between Spock, Kirk, and McCoy, it becomes a fascinating story. I have been extremely close to a few people, but am unsure if I have ever been as close to anyone in the way those three were to each other. It was that band of brothers mentality, that experience (or experiences) that bonded people together greater perhaps than even any blood bond could be. They have been through too much, seen much of the galaxy in great detail, and been a part of an in-depth Trek history.

To me, that was very key. This is when Star Trek far surpassed Star Wars for me. It was a fuller and wider universe with characters I found to be more rounded. It became science fiction's version of Tolkien while Star Wars was more of the lesser world of Lewis, with its borrowed characters and far too choked with allegory for my taste. Like Tolkien's work Trek had a deep and well developed history with languages and tangible worlds. You could practically study these things in an academic way, and indeed eventually many have.

As a vague mythology taking place outside of our world, in fact far away from our place in the universe, Star Wars is great (I do tend to think of Wars as more science fantasy than science fiction). As an historical and human mythology spanning not only our past but our future, Trek outweighs Wars immensely. As a nerd I love both and hold them dear. I just don't let my adolescent self dictate why I prefer something slightly more than the other.



                                                                          S'chn T'gai Spock


"Logic is the beginning of all wisdom, not the end." - Spock

Captain Kirk may have been a stud and brilliant commander. Bones may have been the best Starfleet doctor, wrapped in a gruff cynical outer shell with a grumpy disposition but at heart, a true softy. And Scotty may have been a mischievous fun-loving engineer with the penchant for lying to his captain. However it was Spock who kept it all together. He was the one that saw the whole picture, guiding his captain and friend to hopefully make the correct decision. With his logic and a nearly zen like quality he could keep the captain and crew from rushing in or losing control. With his well hidden humor, a bad habit picked up by those illogical and emotional humans, he could deceptively lighten the mood in most situations.

Spock was a scientist, a scholar, a leader, a commander, an ambassador, a warrior, and most importantly in the end, a peace maker. All these thing were also represented in Leonard Nimoy, the man who portrayed the character. A polymath, Nimoy dabbled in everything. He served in the Army Reserves. He had an MA in education. He was an actor, a singer, a writer, a photographer, and a director,

He said that playing the role of Spock so often, due to the long days and weeks during the series, it eventually began to influence his own private personality.

"To this day, I sense Vulcan speech patterns, Vulcan social attitudes and even Vulcan patterns of logic and emotional suppression in my behavior."~ Leonard Nimoy

Nimoy was also a strong supporter of the feminist movement and equal rights. His Full Body Project drew much attention. I wonder how much of the influence of Spock shaped his views or how much of it was all Nimoy from the outset? I don't think it truly matters. He and the character he created have, and will have, a great and everlasting impact on the world. They both changed lives for the better.

God speed, Mr. Nimoy and Mr. Spock, I hope you find enlightenment in Sha Ka Ree.

Update on my projects including an exciting new one.

I thought I would bring the three people who read my "blog" up to date on what is going on with my projects. I know it has been quite some time since I have written anything on here. Why? Well....

First, the long running projects:

                                        Villainous Rational (tentative title)

The last time I wrote on my highly neglected blog I was informing you about a four part series on villains I was developing. I am still working on it semi-actively and am enjoying the subject a great deal. Recently I have found, and have been exchanging emails with, a writer from Santa Fe who has worked on a story about one of the villains I will be focusing on. I am hunting down material for that character but it's taking some time finding this particular se7en part comic series (based on a movie)
I have no deadline ( perfect for a person who suffers from what I do) which means it will be done when it's done. To paraphrase Gandalf; 

                                  "A Writer is never late, nor is he early. He finishes precisely when he means to."

                                          My comic

I am still working on it but have begun to look at it from a different angle. I take it out on occasion and go through some things. I expand the outline, work on characters, and work the script for issue #1. I am in no rush.


                                          Poker book

I actually have two poker books I'd like to do. One is an adaptation of a famous book, and the other is more for fun. When I find the time and I am in that mindset I will return to the second one. The other I am not so concerned about.

                                          Short stories


I easily become bored. My mind wanders at incredible speeds and is always fifty steps ahead of me. Unfortunately I'm not quick, nor smart enough, to keep up with it or use it to my advantage.  
  I have many short stories started. Sometimes I say "fuck it" and never intend to go back to that particular one. Sometimes I realize it belongs in a different world but am unsure of what that is. A few times I realized that a story I'm working on, specifically the main character, is in fact a part of the comic I am slowly piecing together. All these things keep me from working on any particular story for very long. It's as though.... look! a kitty!


                                       Crimson and Covers


     

   This is a project I am truly in love with. This is the "radio" show I started working on a long time ago. It is dedicated to cover songs of every genre, by artists of every genre. The first episode was put together months ago but due to my own ineptitude and the fact computers are my mortal enemies, I have been unable to finalize it as of yet. 
I have several shows already planned out and ready for me to record my DJ(?) parts, but until I figure what I did wrong they will also have to wait.  I do manage to post videos from time to time on the Facebook page.



                                      


                                        Second Breakfast

           

         Huh. I haven't even thought of this in quite some time. Second Breakfast is a little music project I would like to do. Basically me with no talent (bad voice and simple bass guitar) writing a song on occasion and having some friends add guitar or other instruments to it. This would be done long distance, so who knows what it would end up sounding like or how frustrated I would become?


                                  

My newest and most personally challenging project 


Okay. Some background is in order in case you do not know me well. 
I have been battling anxiety and depression for twenty five years. These things developed into agoraphobia around fourteen years ago. It has been a horrible experience and close to fatal at my darkest times. I am vastly improved but have quite a ways to go. I work hard at changing my life back around, to function as normally as I can.

I have been in contact with the founder and editor of a small and new online magazine out of England called Chucktown. We started discussing an idea I have for a series of articles. I would be following a certain historical Old West icon through my current home of  New Mexico. I would be interviewing the people of these small towns, getting their perspective of life there and of the history of this man. 
The history, sites, and the people who now occupy these historical towns would merely be a backdrop. The real story would be about me, an agoraphobic man, taking this solo journey around the state. About whether I can even complete any or all of it. I am only just beginning to travel locally around the west side of Albuquerque and Rio Rancho without total fear or panic attacks. Yet within the next couple of months I am willing to jump into the deep end of the pool, uncertain if I can even swim. This both excites and terrifies me. 

I have also been in contact with a well-known historian who has been extremely helpful. He offers guided tours in the town where much took place. I would like to do this as well as interview him. These things, and the journey itself, are not free, or even cheap.

I will most likely be doing a funding campaign for this journey as I am not being paid for this by Chucktown. This is something I feel I need, and have to do. It is a huge undertaking but I have to try to push my frightened self further than ever before. After all of this I will then compile and expand these articles into book form. My hope would be this could benefit someone who suffers from the same thing. To let them know it is possible to take their lives, at least a good part of it, back. Also, I would hope to finally support myself with writing. Social Security is not a way to live. Getting off of it, doing better mentally, and doing something I love in order to support myself is the dream. A dream that once seemed impossible. Now? It is starting to feel that it is not only possible, but that I am on my way to actually doing it.


I thank you for your time.

David


Post Script. 

If any are interested in helping me let me know. I could also use guidance on what funding site would be best.

And if any artists out there would like to work with me on the comic, let me know. I would love to collaborate on it.


Update: September 7, 2015

I have decided I will not be doing the project for Chucktown owning to changes they have gone through. I fully intend on continuing with this project, however, it will be solely for a book.

I have put all my other projects on hold for this but have also added a project. I would like to write an article for True West Magazine. I have picked my subject and have frustratingly been researching. I am in the process of writing two versions at the same time and may add a third. Why? Because I am unsure of the angle I wish to do this story. I figured I would give myself a few options. 

That's all for this update.

Thanks for your time.